Successful Relationships

     The corner stones of a successful relationship are unconditional love, trust, respect, and appreciation. It is not that there aren’t others to consider but for me these are essential. For most, unconditional love seems to be somewhat ambiguous and hard to pin down.  My definition of unconditional love is that the essence and soul of the person you are in relationship with is loved without  judgement or criticism.  Their core is totally lovable and cherished while held in your heart with unwavering acceptance. Therefore, when he or she mispeaks, assumes, errors, or does something bad you take issue with the behavior and or personality, but the essence is known to you and that is unshakable.

        Trust is something you can not live without in a relationship. You have to know and believe that who this person is, what they say, and where they are is never in significant question. It means that you can feel safe with them and are not left in concern or fear with what they are about. You may not always like what they do or what they say, but you can trust who they are. Trust like a redwood tree takes time to grow and can be cut down in an instant. Those who betray trust have to be willing to put in the hard work of rebuilding trust. It is imperative for people to have trust if they are to do the daily work that it takes to have a healthy relationship.

          Respect is another corner stone that must be there to have a functional, and viable relationship. In order to discuss, negotiate, confront and reslove issues in a reltionship, one must feel that his/her partner is someone of merit and value. When the respect is eroded many other aspects of your partner’s dysfunctions become less tolerable to unbearable. Respect needs to be ongoing and reinforced by each to be maintained.

           Appreciation is what floats the boat of a relationships. It is the glue that keeps the good will alive between people. When you are not feeling appreciated contributing to the relationship feels hollow and empty. It takes much of the juice out of the sharing and intimacy. It is essential to maintain on a weekly, if not daily basis a sense of honoring and acknowledging how you appreciate the many and/or little things your partner/spouse does for you. Much of what is struggled through in a relationship can be tolerated and gotten through if appreciation is apparent.

         Being conscious and attending to these corner stones will help keep your relationship vibrant and healthy.


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