Archive for July, 2016

Deepening II: Authentic Self

July 8, 2016

What a deep tantalizing title, which is bound to draw attention. But what is this exactly and aren’t we already being that? The answer is, it is the manifestation of absolute vulnerability and most people are not even in the ball park of this.

To be absolutely vulnerable is to drop below all the defenses that have been built up to protect out “under belly” that has an experiential sense of danger if we were to expose our core essence that is hungry to be seen, wanting to be invited out to be visible and express our need for more contact. It means dropping all the pretense that distracts/protects us from the danger of being in our present state of self that has never quite experienced a sense of safety to be ones true self. These pretenses show up as arrogance, greed, envy, oneupmanship, anger, road rage, rage in general, affairs, substance abuse, delusion, denial, rationalization, manipulation, and the list goes on. All these distractions provide cover in order to not feel the core suffering of feeling alone and longing to be truly connected and deeply felt with another human being.

The sad truth is that the essence of absolute vulnerability is to be present with the pain we all carry yearning to be invited out with our needs and wants. And to have these needs met with compassion and support rather than the normal responses of shame, blame, guilt, and judgment. If we had someone who truly offered this essential connection we could begin to live in our true state of being. This gives rise to what wwant more of, i.e. love, empathy, and compassion; and what we do not want any more of, i.e. abandonment, shame, or annihilation. And from this deep inner place of being is the clarity to know what this looks like and the empowerment to demand it.


July 8, 2016

What causes us to stay so detached, acting out, or anesthetized? Why is it we can’t truly stay real and own a more authentic sense of self?
The answer is that we are unable due to lack of interest, safety, and compassion from others to be at our most vulnerable. As stated in, The Way Of The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Milliman it is not about being perfect, or victorious or vulnerable, but absolute vulnerability. It is this place that is the portal to our unique and authentic self. This place that can only be accessed if it is invited by someone offering interest in who we really are and how we feel. From this place of  safety to be present can we risk to access and share our truest self. As we learn that we can be completely real, it is then that we can begin to stand on a foundation of self that is empowered and invincible seeking out the “more” connection with the world that we all desire.