Authentic Self

What a deep tantalizing title, which is bound to draw attention. But what is this exactly and aren’t we already being that? The answer is, it is the manifestation of absolute vulnerability and most people are not even in the ball park of being this.

To be absolutely vulnerable is to drop below all the defences that have been built up to protect out “under belly” that has an experiential sense of danger if we were to expose our core essence that is hungry to be seen,wanting to be invited out to be visible and express our need for more contact. It means dropping all the pretence that distracts/protects us from the danger of being in our present state of self that has never quite experienced a sense of safety to be ones true self. These pretences show up as arrogance, greed, envy, one-upmanship, anger, road rage, rage in general, affairs, substance abuse, delusion, denial, rationalization, manipulation, and the list goes on. All these distractions provide cover in order to not feel the core suffering of our pain and longing to be truly connected and deeply felt with another human being.

The sad truth is that the essence of absolute vulnerability is to be present with the pain we all carry yearning to be invited out with our needs and wants. And to have these needs met with compassion and support rather than the normal responses of shame, blame, guilt, and judgement. If we had someone who truly offered this which is essential for us to risk doing so, we can over time begin to live in our true state of being which then gives rise to what we want more of, i.e. deep connection and what we do not want any more of, i.e. abandonment or annihilation. And from this deep inner place of being is the clarity to know what this looks like and the empowerment to demand it.

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